Hello to all! My name is Steven Gibbons (MasterOfOrigami) and I am The Astringent Gaming Journal’s newest video game reviewer. My specialty will focus on my love for Indie games. I will be bringing you games made by unknown companies and uprising stars. Sometimes the games I will review won’t be necessarily the definition of an Indie game but rather an offbeat gem that needs to be brought to light. I plan to make every review different in some way so we’ll just have to see what happens. I also intend to do more than review just a game, I’ll also look into the history of the company as well as some future projects to look forward to. Now this is my first review, go easy on me, and I’ll try to make it as fun as possible. So without further ado, my review for Beautiful Katamari for Xbox 360! Enjoy!

Today We have the privilege of bringing you an absurdly amusing and addicting game. Beautiful Katamari is the more strange of Namco Bandai’s series of games. The Katamari Damacy series was started under the Namco branch of Namco Bandai Holdings. Namco was, and still is, known for Pac-Man‘s introduction to the gaming world as well as two fighting series you may or may not have heard of: Tekken and Soulcalibur. Bandai, while being primarily the toy branch of the company has also dealt with the mangas and anime that some of us know and love, followed by a whole slew of “mainstream” and Amurican anime series. Why they thought to bring these two together is beyond Us (could be the tons of anime based games produced after their merge…but I doubt it.)

Katamari Damacy is one thing brought over from Japan purely because of its weirdness. In fact one can not accurately describe it’s weirdness. Trying to do so can be to compared to describing the musical tastes of Bigfoot or why Sonic became the over-used-handkerchief-your-grandpa-used-for-years-to-clean-his-nasal-cavities of the gaming industry. It just can’t be done. The closest We can get is this video:

Alright, snap out of it, you are not hallucinating on those mushrooms, you can’t because the dancing pandas are using them. And yes the entire game is crazy exactly like this. From being chased by a few campfires, to dodging brooms on flying carpets, We felt like We were on an acid trip the whole game. In a good way though.

So you may be asking, “How can we PLAY a game that is crazy as a hatter?” Well let Us tell you. It all starts out as We are on vacation with Our Queen and Prince. Then the King of All Cosmos, We mean Us, decides to show off Our amazing tennis skills and We make a super sweet serve. Unfortunately We don’t know Our own strength and We rip a hole in the universe (at least We aren’t drunk this time). This hole begins to consume everything around Us including the very planet We are on! We use everything in Our power to stop the black hole’s rampage but by the time We stop it it has sucked up the entire solar system. Now it’s the Prince’s job to go to Earth (which luckily was spared) to collect things to make all the planets and restore peace once again.

That’s right, soak it in. Best. Plot. Ever. So we begin Our repair mission (after a short tutorial) by casting the Prince down to Earth armed only with a Katamari which is used like a magnet which allows everyday objects to adhere to it. Controls are extremely simplistic. We only had to use the two analog sticks the whole game. The Katamari is controlled by tilting both sticks in the desired direction. Turning is done by tilting the sticks opposite directions. We were also able to preform a dash by rapidly alternating the sticks forward an backward as well as a quick-turn by pressing both sticks at the same time. Very simple.

Along with simplistic controls are the simplistic graphics. Blocks, blocks and more blocks. But it somehow fits into an amazing work of art that brings a tear to Our eye. And even though they are simple the Xbox brings them to a hole new light with smoother camera shifts and better all around everything visual. Also the trippy pandas on mushrooms really look good in High-Def.

The main objective is to gather as as much as you can from Earth to get your Katamri a certain size in the time limit set by Us. You start with small things like candies and Mosquitoes and thumbtacks, the more things you collect the bigger your Katamari grows allowing you to pick up bigger things like people, trucks, and gigantic cows. Growing is size also allows you to return to places blocked previously. When you complete the request We have asked of you then we take everything you have given Us and give you a demeaning score followed by turning into the next planet that needs to be replaced. Your score will be determined by the final size and the contents within, if We asked you for Playful things and you give Us a Chilly one instead your score will reflect Our disappointment (although it seems even if you get what We ask it won’t be good enough). Your score will be entered online and you can see your rankings verses everyone in the world. Occasionally (once) We will ask for something different. For example We really enjoyed when We gave the Mars mission and We had to collect Hot things and the Katamari was not based on size but rather temperature of the items collected. This was a nice change from Our previous times We needed to fill the sky (or Ocean) with objects because of Our mistakes. Unfortunately this only happened once with one other variation in the game, but all the rest were simple certain size in certain time levels.

Among the various nick-nacks and paddy-whacks strewn across Earth there are 40 Royal Presents as well as 40 Cousins for you to roll up along your travels. You can thank Us later. The presents serve as mere cosmetic additions with the exception of the camera which, of course, sprays enemies with water to get them out of the way. We kid, it only takes pictures. The cousins are used for cosmetics as well allowing you to use them to roll up Earth’s items. Each cousin has their own personality as well as their own variations on the presents.

Cousins do serve another purpose however: Multiplayer. We give you the options of Vs. or Co-op either online or offline. This is where the flaws start to arise. In Vs. you are pitted against one of your cousins and it is a battle to see who has the most items at the end of the time limit. This sounds like you have free reign in one of the many areas in the game however this is not true as you are stuck in a TINY arena with a limited amount of items, so once the items are all collected you merely spend the remaining time dashing, ramming, and dodging which We did not enjoy. Co-op however is a bit different. It throws you and a cousin in one of the world’s areas unrestricted. Oh and you are controlling the same Katamari. You two must think alike to roll up a successful Katamari. We had quite a bit of fun doing this with one of Our many friends. Online mode is the same but with more area access and fun mini-games in the lobbies.

The one thing that We were disappointed about was the soundtrack. The original Katamari Damacy soundtrack was amazing. In fact We are listening to it as We type this review. Seriously even if you know nothing of this game go buy/YouTube some of the songs. Go ahead, We’ll wait. Go on, go listen to them. Don’t have time? Then just listen to Katamari on the Rocks~ and Que Sera Sera okay and The Moon and the Prince. Anyway We said all that to say all this: the soundtrack for Beautiful Katamari was regrettably forgettable. And that is truly a shame. Oh and Lonely Rolling Star.

Our final word on this will be that if you are looking for something different on your Xbox 360 and are tired of shooters or sports games, then get this game. But if you have a Playstation 2 We think it would be better to get Katamari Damacy for that and just hold off on the Beautiful Katamari. If you have a Playstation 3 have no fear! They have Katamari Forever just for you!!! Wii owners are out of luck for now. Want Katamari to go? Get Me & My Katamari or even I Love Katamari for all you iPhone-ers. Got a DS? Too bad get a real gamer’s handheld. All joking aside, pretty much any console you have you can get a part of this amazing series and We (last one I swear) recommend you do. It will not be a disappointment. Oh and A Crimson Rose and Gin Tonic!